Destructive guys are crafty, sneaky, intense and manipulative...and most of have similar characteristics you can learn.
The kind of women they "prey" on don't know where they're going wrong or why they attract/are attracted to the Mr. Wrongs out there.
Most women don't know what to do differently to get to Mr. Right.
That's where my programs come in.
They will help you see exactly how you are being perceived by the wrong guys, and why others over-step your boundaries or don't take you seriously.
Destructive relationships have a unique intensity and an addictive-like quality that make the nice guys seem boring and healthy relationships feel wrong.
They have an obvious on-again/off-again pattern and even when you know you shouldn't go back, and don't want to, somehow you end up returning.
People who have never had this kind of relationship can't understand what's really going on or why you seem to tolerate bad love.
That's why learning to SPOT relational harm before you get trapped
can be life saving.
And learning to STOP relational harm after you get trapped
is life changing.
You can learn how to confidently and discretely
disempower toxic people & they won't even know you're doing it.
You'll be able to easily assert yourself.
You'll know how to express boundaries & what to do if they get crossed.
You'll stop JADEing away your views, opinions, boundaries and wants
(Justifying, Arguing, Defending, Explaining)
and sooooo much more...
Who are these programs designed for?
Women who find other dating, relationship & break up advice doesn't seem to fit their situation, history, or need.
Women who have tried counseling & therapy but didn't get what they needed ~ or the understanding of toxic love wasn't there.
POST-Crisis Women / Single Women / Divorced Women
I do not help women break up from their partners.
I help women after they leave so they can
Date Differently & successfully.
Women who are ready for a big improvement in their lives and who are committed to making it happen.
Regular dating advice doesn't help women
who have a bad track record with men. If a breakup takes you down and you can't seem to fully recover from a breakup or divorce or if you find yourself going back, stuck in cyclical arguments with a ex, or repeatedly dating the wrong kind of guys or having the same kind of
guy-problems you've had before,
you are probably "passing" the Toxic Guy's TESTs
you are probably communicating in a way that attracts the Mr. Wrongs
You most likely don't even know when you are being TESTED & BAITED
FORGET FORGIVENESS just for now ~ it can keep you in a harmful cycle, especially if you've been in a destructive relationship withhold forgiveness until you capture some self protection skills specific to your situation and until you create a start over plan that will include forgiveness as part of your moving on strategy (there are lots of other ways to let things go that won't position you for more harm) STOP BEING REASONABLE & START GETTING CONTROL of YOUR LIFE & YOUR MONEY ON YOUR TERMS Recognize & avoid harmful relationships Master your money like a woman Realize how unstoppable you really are Put an end to emotional & money leaks Clear out negative clutter & drama Get your personal power back
A woman's entire life can be negatively impacted by the company she keeps, or the denial she has. It is essential that we are honest with ourselves and that we continually check our perceptions and approach to life and love, and adjust accordingly. What we believe, what we tell ourselves~or who we interact with can keep us stuck, tear us down...or build us up.
Women have an unequaled quality of strength and are resourceful creators of change~we must get better at giving to ourselves. it's time to put the clues together
Some common traits include (there are many others) cyclical arguments, twisting of what has been said, lexical meanings (isolating a word in your discussion, argument, or point and harping on it even out of its context), inconsistent kindness, generosity and good nature, followed by the polar opposite~or, a sudden mood shift for no reason and without warning (this can be subtle...it isn't just anger or aggression, it can be an eerie calm or quietness, a sudden or senseless withdrawing). The person may be very intense with various things (job, success, money, sex, romance...) or, just in one area (charm), and may "gaslight" you, which basically means, you are made to feel like you misunderstand things~that the conversation you had was not actually had, or if you don't repeat what he said precisely the way he said it, he claims to have never said it at all, or he claims that a promise made was not actually made, or that it wasn't made in the way you understood it, and you know better...um, do ya' notice there is a lot of word play that goes on? Yep, it throws ya', and it's exhausting.
These things trap relationship-centered women all the time, because we think no one would really do this stuff, and we want a relationship that grows, and expect that all can. But relationships with toxic or destructive men like this cannot change~and it's hard to come to that conclusion when you look only at individual issues, instead of patterns.
Women in bad relationships often have the same expectations of them that they would have of normal relationships, and so they get caught up waiting and expecting the situation to get back to the "normal" they saw in the beginning, not to mention that the tactics and default actions I mentioned above are playing a total head game on her. She is kept second guessing and is always wondering if she is wrong, or if she has assessed things incorrectly~she wonders...was it my memory...did I forget...or is he really right and he never did say X, or agree to Y...but then she remembers he did....again, it's a total head game and these warped people are very convincing (probably even believe themselves). They may or may not know they do this, just to complicate things a little further.
These are NOT the only characteristics to look out for, but if you notice them, start looking for patterns and watch to see if there is a lot of word play going on , or if any of the changes you request actually stick, that's a good start because changes/improvements don't last long with these guys, it's like they have selective memories.
It is very important to know, too, how you lead into love and for you know how you respond to the spin he puts you into if these things happen in your relationship. A consistent pattern is something that should tell you that you are responding in a certain way~a way that keeps the cycle going, and that is what keeps you trapped in the madness. I often refer to these as trait-traps... Want to know more? Ask me to send you the 7 most common traits that trap women & you can see for yourself why these nutty guys go looking for high-potential women who have certain qualities: firstname.lastname@example.org