Necessary break ups are different than "ordinary" break ups. They stem from unworkable relationships after a long period of time. The relationship most likely had on-again/off-again pattern, took tremendous effort, and was likely riddled with under-the-radar manipulation and harm to one of the two partners. Necessary break ups are ones that have to happen because nothing in the relationship ever changes at it's core, and at least one of the partners can't change, despite effort, desire, promises, and repeated attempts to do so. Abuse of any kind is another signal for a necessary break up because that is always a deal breaker. Necessary means it has to happen, it's a hopeless mess or repetitive cycles and negative patterns.
Even if you are compassionate, willing to compromise and want a respectful, simple break up or a peaceful, "conscious" divorce, you won't get one from the kind or draining relationship that leads to a necessary divorce. If you had a destructive partner on some level, aiming for a good and reasonable break up can set you up for a big disaster.
You may find that you want to try harder, when most would have given up ages ago, or are encouraging you to leave. It's harder to let go when you know you've had bad love before, and it starts to seem normal and acceptable to have less of the good kind, so you may fight for something you don't even want out of habit or fear It takes a special awakening, and a little training before you can see what's really going on with that, but it's possible to see exactly why that pattern of bad love and rotten men has been yours, and what you can do to change it isn't as hard as you might thing, but it starts with identifying the necessary kind of break up ~ the one that has to happen because there is not capacity for change or growth...and when you know you've already tried everything and still it's all wrong, it's time to feel guilt free about finishing something bad.
Recovering from this kind of break up takes longer than expected, and longer than "normal" break ups. Friends and family who try to move you on before you're ready don't understand what your delay is all about or why you find another questionable guy, but starting over from this kind of break up is especially difficult. Post break up antics are usually as sneaky, smooth, and laced with trickery as the charm used to attract you, or to suck you back in, make getting a clean break tough, and so the harm continues. You can feel powerless, unheard, or invalidated, especially if others don't see your reality, which is typical. It takes more than leaving to finish this kind of relationship and knowing how to avoid more harm from an ex, or when dating, is critical.