When a breakup takes you down or you haven't fully recovered after a breakup or divorce Meaning~you haven't moved on in each of these areas: Emotionally (still get triggered by him but have moved on in some ways) (still feel confused or bewildered by him / by what happened / by not knowing sooner) (still feel depleted / or get depleted when interacting with him post breakup) (you have chronic health problems, memory problems, trouble concentrating, or trouble sleeping) Spiritually (have a negative outlook and live the single life but want a companion) (punish yourself and feel embarrassed about picking a bad partner or getting ripped off) (feel unlovable, invisible, uninspired, unmotivated) (stuck in the past or needing/wanting an apology to move on) (unable or unwilling to consider forgiveness) Relationally (don't know who to believe or trust, or aren't attracting the quality of man you want) (you are lonely when single, don't like being single and move into new relationships quickly) (you are uncomfortable single, but don't want a relationship / feel you can't or won't find a good one) (you are uncomfortable looking for a new relationship because you don't trust yourself, men, or love) (you are happy single, but think you "shouldn't" be) AND Financially (you are in a money mess from the relationship / breakup or, you developed one after the breakup) (you spend to soothe yourself or to break the boredom / loneliness) (you are owed money and haven't pursued it) (you are in the wrong job, dislike your job or the environment, or aren't in your passion) (you avoid money or feel like you aren't any good with it) (you are stuck with a belief that was given to you & don't know how to overcome it) (you never handled the money in the relationship & don't know where to begin) (you want financial independence, and freedom with money but don't have it yet) (you buy things for others so they will feel valued and loved, even if you can't afford to) (you under-earn or give your time away or don't negotiate where money is involved)
If these 4 areas are not fully addressed, you cannot completely leave the past behind, and therefore, will not have a successful Start Over.
When you find yourself with Mr. Wrong repeatedly
or have difficult, unrewarding, dead-end, harmful, or draining relationships
(or money issues)
When you have the wrong business partner / lawyer / doctor / friend
When there is a consistent imbalance of power in your financial life
or someone else controls your money
When you lose money or get ripped off because you trust the wrong people
When you discount your time, service, or products
If you consistently over-deliver
When emotion dictates your fees, your income, or your money habits (your spending, saving, investing, tracking)
When something stops you from getting money you are owed THAT'S WHEN
Typical Relationship, Dating, & Money Advice
WILL NOT APPLY TO YOU !
Why? What's Going On? YOU are different YOUR situation is different than most YOU see things & relate to others differently perhaps you respond more from your heart perhaps you trust more easily & your RADAR is way off perhaps you take a person's story, situation, or hardships into account more than others do or perhaps there is a money story so strong, so engrained in you, that it is underlying everything
I help women protect themselves from this kind of madness
You can still be true to yourself & nice to others
You don't have to change who you are
And you can stop emotional & money leaks immediately
FORGET FORGIVENESS just for now ~ it can keep you in a harmful cycle, especially if you've been in a destructive relationship withhold forgiveness until you capture some self protection skills specific to your situation and until you create a start over plan that will include forgiveness as part of your moving on strategy (there are lots of other ways to let things go that won't position you for more harm) STOP BEING REASONABLE & START GETTING CONTROL of YOUR LIFE & YOUR MONEY ON YOUR TERMS Recognize & avoid harmful relationships Master your money like a woman Realize how unstoppable you really are Put an end to emotional & money leaks Clear out negative clutter & drama Get your personal power back
A woman's entire life can be negatively impacted by the company she keeps, or the denial she has. It is essential that we are honest with ourselves and that we continually check our perceptions and approach to life and love, and adjust accordingly. What we believe, what we tell ourselves~or who we interact with can keep us stuck, tear us down...or build us up.
Women have an unequaled quality of strength and are resourceful creators of change~we must get better at giving to ourselves. it's time to put the clues together
Some common traits include (there are many others) cyclical arguments, twisting of what has been said, lexical meanings (isolating a word in your discussion, argument, or point and harping on it even out of its context), inconsistent kindness, generosity and good nature, followed by the polar opposite~or, a sudden mood shift for no reason and without warning (this can be subtle...it isn't just anger or aggression, it can be an eerie calm or quietness, a sudden or senseless withdrawing). The person may be very intense with various things (job, success, money, sex, romance...) or, just in one area (charm), and may "gaslight" you, which basically means, you are made to feel like you misunderstand things~that the conversation you had was not actually had, or if you don't repeat what he said precisely the way he said it, he claims to have never said it at all, or he claims that a promise made was not actually made, or that it wasn't made in the way you understood it, and you know better...um, do ya' notice there is a lot of word play that goes on? Yep, it throws ya', and it's exhausting.
These things trap relationship-centered women all the time, because we think no one would really do this stuff, and we want a relationship that grows, and expect that all can. But relationships with toxic or destructive men like this cannot change~and it's hard to come to that conclusion when you look only at individual issues, instead of patterns.
Women in bad relationships often have the same expectations of them that they would have of normal relationships, and so they get caught up waiting and expecting the situation to get back to the "normal" they saw in the beginning, not to mention that the tactics and default actions I mentioned above are playing a total head game on her. She is kept second guessing and is always wondering if she is wrong, or if she has assessed things incorrectly~she wonders...was it my memory...did I forget...or is he really right and he never did say X, or agree to Y...but then she remembers he did....again, it's a total head game and these warped people are very convincing (probably even believe themselves). They may or may not know they do this, just to complicate things a little further.
These are NOT the only characteristics to look out for, but if you notice them, start looking for patterns and watch to see if there is a lot of word play going on , or if any of the changes you request actually stick, that's a good start because changes/improvements don't last long with these guys, it's like they have selective memories.
It is very important to know, too, how you lead into love and for you know how you respond to the spin he puts you into if these things happen in your relationship. A consistent pattern is something that should tell you that you are responding in a certain way~a way that keeps the cycle going, and that is what keeps you trapped in the madness. I often refer to these as trait-traps... Want to know more? Ask me to send you the 7 most common traits that trap women & you can see for yourself why these nutty guys go looking for high-potential women who have certain qualities: email@example.com
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